Alas, no one likes me

I have come to realize that being an author is not as easy as people make it seem. To me it is my second nature, without writing I would not be the person that I am today. But, that does not mean people outside my group of friends and family will read my book. All the times I have gone to see my book display no one has even glanced at my work. Maybe it is just the clientele that is just tired of seeing stuff underneath the tables, or the fact that it is bits from a novel that turns them off.

I understand that people may not like my style of writing, that is fine. No writer is ever 100% liked, it is a fact. My feeling is that all the times I have supported other people on their endeavours has gone to waste because I get no support back. Sure, they write shorter things and most of the works are collaborative, does not matter in my eyes.

One day I plan to challenge people. To me, if I had not challenged myself to do what I have done I would not be writing books. Scary thought. Just imagine what I would be like if I did not release all these thoughts that appear in my books. Now I am scaring myself.

Instead of dwelling on the fact that people do not give a damn about writing outside my group of friends and family I am looking at the positive. Finished another novel, over halfway through typing up another one to self publish, working on two new books, and hoping to start looking into getting published somewhere in Canada. Alas, a lot of work, but important work.

"Writing is physical work. It's sweaty work. You just can't will yourself to become a good writer. You really have to work at it."~Will Haygood 

It is true. If I did not work at writing what would I say is my hobby and talent? 

Ok, enough of the never-ending rant. I was supposed to update, sold 2 books out of my 10. Still better than I had originally thought. Slowly getting back in to the writing grove again. Feels like writers block is kicking in, which sucks. I will beat it though. Hopefully soon I can think of the title for the book I am writing that is 90 pages in. We all know how that goes. I think of ideas and people perfect it.

New Book Being Written

Just for all you followers, here is a little taste of the new book I am writing. Do not fear, I am still typing up my other one. So, enjoy. This is the opening:

      The feeling. How can one describe it? Orgasmic? Insatiable? No, fulfilling. I needed this, in some way or another. Sitting back on his thighs I looked down at my masterpiece. Just another fool that fell for it. Taking a deep breath I closed my eyes to enjoy it. Each breath allowed me to experience a new feeling: his going limp inside me, my sweat cooling on my warm body and his body not moving. Looking down at him I felt nothing. He was just a person used to fulfill my need. My gloved hands were soaked with his blood. The knife clamped in my gloved right hand dripped of his blood. It was dark in the room but I knew that there was blood everywhere. The smell filled my nose and gave me a rush of adrenaline, it was becoming orgasmic, much like the moment of killing him had been like.


     He had taken more effort to get him to the point of being killed. I had to go out of my normal methods and adapt which could lead to my risk of being caught. Yet, I was prepared. There was never a time that I was not prepared if I had to go further. It was not difficult to convince them to go back to their place, it never was. Tight dresses, sexy lingerie under them, high heels, make-up and knowing how to talk. Teasing worked too, just when to start and for how long was a challenge at times. Tonight he needed a lot of teasing because the alcohol did not hit him like the others. More effort, more wasted time.

     Looking down at him one last time I decided to get off of his limp body. A procedure needed to be followed. Too much DNA had been left on him, and I could not be caught just yet. I dressed quickly. Time was running out, and sleep was needed. His body would stay the way he was positioned. I moved over towards my purse and opened up one of the side compartments. In there was everything I needed to disguise what I had to do in order to get the satisfaction I needed. My routine clean up after every time was no more than five minutes. Just fast enough to escape, but not too fast that I left evidence behind. My method had been perfected years ago, and now it allows me to get what I need more often than I used to be able to fulfill it. Redressing I put away my cleaning supplies in the large purse I brought with me, slipped into my shoes and walked out of the room still wearing gloves. Looking back at him I smiled.

Book Display

The book display is up and running. Only sold one book, not that bad. I actually expected to not sell any...at all. Sad but true. My taste and style of writing is not for everyone, which I do not blame people for. But, I am still in shock over the fact that my display actually turned out rather nice. The idea that I thought would not work did. Is it wrong that I want to set my goal at selling 5 books in total? It is not that much money, but it is still nice knowing that some people took interest in my book.

On a side note, my grandma and dad are really pushing the idea that I get my name out there and start to write to agents and real publishers so I can get officially published. Alas, they do not know that this takes a lot of time and effort and means a lot of rejection letters. Rejection I can do, but I do not know if they can handle it. I guess that is what I will be up to over Christmas break. Writing letters to agents to make them want to get me published. The question I have is, "Am I really good enough that an agent or publisher will want me?" Horrible thoughts to think of but sometimes being realistic is the best way.

For all the people that are waiting to read my next book I am halfway through typing it up. I did not realize it was going to be as long as it is. The only thing I can look forward to is that when I edit the word count goes down and it becomes more in tune with the entire concept. It is not my best book but even the books I find that I sucked at writing could be someone's favourite. I can aim to be done for Christmas break but that takes time and effort and I am slowly plugging along with it while I try to finish writing out my novel. I am close to the end of that one as well. It's hard to keep up with work, school, and writing...I guess I should mention a somewhat social life. Hence the word 'somewhat'.

I will keep everyone updated. It is a good idea to have support close to me when I need it the most.

"You must stay drunk on writing so reality cannot destroy you."  ~Ray Bradbury

One week today!

So I am pretty much ready to go and place down all my stuff for the book showing. The books will hopefully arrive no later than monday so I may just have to pick them up after work.

About the author and the novel should be completed tonight and will get Grandma to revise. She loves novels and being involved so I could not say no. The husband helped organize and decide what tables each section printed off should go in. Looks pretty good! Once everything is set up I will provide pictures for all to see on here, and on facebook too. Not all people will go, which is understanding.

With all this work and excitement I have begun writing again. Writer's Block is gone! Much needed break from writing but now I am itching to finish the book. The needing to end it is taking over my dreams.

And if everything goes well after this month I will push hard to self-publish another one of my books.

One week everyone!!!! Hope that people will go take a look at it and even buy a drink from Fine Grind. Fantastic drinks there for both coffee lovers and people who don't like coffee!

Almost time!

Well I have not written on here in a long time it seems. I guess school has kept me somewhat busy. Not too surprising. Just ordered 10 copies of my book for the book showing and will print off my work once the hubby gets home. Need all the help I can get.

Current book writing is going at a slow pace. I know exactly how I want to end it but getting there is taking some time. I will hopefully find the inspiration to finish it. Well, today I feel like I am in the mood to write. :D