3 Months Post-Surgery

Unfortunately, less writing has been happening because I have been back to work for almost a month now and going to the gym quite often.

I feel fantastic; better than I have in almost 2 years. The only struggles I have is my scar is hypertrophic, my scar tissue can hurt and well, my skin is itchy. Otherwise, I am a happy person.

I see the surgeon for the last time till next year on the 8th. Hopefully I hear all good news. I have been doing my best to eat well and exercise at least 3-4 days a week. My job is not exactly easy, I am on my feet all day.

Certain foods seem to not settle well; which I know can be do to the surgery having been recent or my lack of gallbladder. For now, I eat what I used to eat and just be careful or cut out the foods that don’t sit well. Eating big heavy meals make me feel nauseous, so I am trying to eat smaller meals more often and chugging back water. It helps a lot.

When it comes to exercising post-surgery:

• Walking really helps. They tell you do that after surgery and I find that days I don’t exercise or go for a walk my abdomen gets stiff.
• Work on strengthening your abdomen. It sucks, but I find that I cannot lift all that much because my abdomen can’t support it.
• Don’t give up. I feel fantastic, but I know I have to draw the line and prevent myself from hurting.
• Don’t expect to feel 100%. I have difficulty with this. I want to be 100%, but as the hubby says I am about 80-90%.

For those that don’t know or remember, I had my incision split open. It put me back about 2 weeks, but it is no problem now. I am using bio-oil on the scar and have seen great improvement.

All I can say is stay positive and it’ll help. All I have to do is see what my liver and abdomen look like next year, more out of curiosity to see what it looks like.

Right Lobe Liver Resection Surgery and Recovery

I know I’ve been away from the blogging world, which is not a sign I have been writing or editing. I’ve been busy and very distracted. As the title states, I had major surgery Mar. 28th of this year. I got less than a weeks notice and jumped on it because I have been waiting for some sort of relief of pain since Nov. 2011 when I was first diagnosed with Focal Nodular Hyperplasia (FNH), a benign tumour, in the right side of my liver.

Since I was diagnosed with this I had to stop exercising, started taking strong pain medications, clearly had to stop drinking and it basically altered my way of living, which caused my hubby’s way of living to change as well.

The surgery went great as far as I know. The morning of was tough, had to be there at 6am to check in. My mom showed up, started to cry and laugh. Somewhat out of fear, but mainly out of joy. Seeing her cry made me  cry. We’ve all been through a lot, not just family but friends and coworkers of both my hubby and me. It was a relief.

I was brought into the OR just after 8am feeling confident. I received an epidural about mid-way through my back. Absolutely amazing thing. Yes, I was a little high, but still I made people smile and was reassured because everyone was confident.

My surgery was roughly 5.5 hours. I lost 3 litres of blood, causing me to get several blood transfusions. Otherwise, the surgery went great. I lost my entire right side of my liver, roughly 60-70% of my liver, my gallbladder and only 1 out of my 3 main veins, originally it was supposed to be 2. The believed cause of my pain was the FNH was pushing on my one vein and several nerves.

The only hospital complication I had was my epidural malfunctioned several times, causing me to cry in agony the day after surgery, otherwise it went pretty well. The nurses were amazing and they let my hubby do a bunch for me to help out. I was released from hospital Apr. 3rd and then complications set in.

On Apr. 7th, when my hubby and I were changing some of the falling apart medi-strips or steri-strips, like we were told to do so bacteria doesn’t set in, part of my incision on my right hand side opened up. We called the surgeon and was told to put more strips on it and place gauze over it and to wait to see him on Apr. 10th.

We saw him Apr. 10th, where the wound was roughly 5cm long and 1cm wide. He informed us this could happen and is called wound dehiscence. It was nothing to worry about and sent us on our way.

Within 48 hours (Apr. 12th), we had a close friend over and she noticed one of my strips around the bandage placed over my wound looked strange. I lifted part of the bandage to get a better look and saw that it looked green. I peeled off the bandage to check and saw that my wound was severely infected. She rushed my hubby and me to the hospital I had surgery at (roughly 1 hour away from my home). We had called the surgeon twice with no call back. Luckily I got seen by several of his interns. Unfortunately, they had to poke and prod and told me they could see to my muscles in one small hole, but it was not infected internally, only topographical. The wound had  grow to 10cm long and 1.5cm wide at the widest point (the rest of the incision on my right hand side had split open). They cleaned me, patched me up enough to be sent home to receive homecare after it was approved by my surgeon.

As of now the infection has cleared and I am getting great treatment. I am sorry about the graphic photos but this is what I’ve been dealing with personally and my family and friends have been witnessing. Honestly, without such great people helping me stay positive I wouldn’t be doing so well. Yes, my scar is going to be bigger and uglier, but I’ll be better and they won’t judge me. For those suffering with FNH it’s a struggle to get treatment and the recovery is just as hard. Other than my wound I feel fantastic, better than I have in over a year. This is my struggle as a Canadian, so I hope it helps others from Canada and around the world.

Size of the tumour in the right side of my liver.

24 Hours after surgery. Bloated so much I looked liked I was pregnant.

48 hours after surgery.

Apr. 10th, after I was seen by the surgeon. All the other images are too graphic.

Anyone struggling with FNH or wants more information feel free to email me at: meganheld@live.ca

Once again, I cannot thank my hubby, family, friends and coworkers of both my hubby and me. Amazing support, laughs and positivity. Without any of you this would not have been as easy to deal with. My recovery is going great because even if it hurts, I still laugh and smile. I owe you all so much…even if the mocking has come to an end (I was really moody/hormonal) I knew it was out of love and to make sure depression never plagued me.

The Great World of Authors

As I work on writing the sequel to The Selected and try to get myself in the mood to edit Control Me I have been terribly distracted by many things. Life, reading a bunch of novels that I downloaded from Smashwords Read and eBook week, which most are phenomenal. I have never been so amazed at all the talent out there and am glad I found that site.
For those that have ereaders we are able to find more writers that the world does not know about. Well, unless you work a minimum wage job and found out one of the most regular customers wrote a trilogy about the War of 1812. He leant me the books for a change of reading and well, I am happy to read them. The look on his face made my work week, plus I’ll learn something too.
Only downside is that I am going to be proud of his work and jealous of how talented he is. One day I may be a great writer; for now, I’ll just stick with what I am doing and be happy.
Talking about great writers, a fellow author/friend Dean Smith-Richard, whom I have featured on my blog before, posted about the terrible news of E.L. James writing a novel about writing advice: http://deanfortythree.wordpress.com/2013/03/11/monday-morning-randomness-5/
To me, she has nothing really to offer. I would love to read a novel, or even several posts on blogs about aspiring novelists and what advice they have to give. So, all the writers out there, time to give some advice and let me know what you would tell writers.
Mine: Don’t stress about word count or chapters. A book will chose all that for you. Write what you are thinking about and worry about that stuff later.

Help? Just More Insults Towards Characters and Difficulty Writing.

I have blogged about writers attacking others before. Once again, I have found more of this happening. Some writers have voiced their opinion on this matter. Instead of copying and pasting what is being said, I am going to do a spin-off of what was asked and answer it in a better manner.

1. Character Development

One writer asked for some help in regards to their main character. The writer provided the name and wanted to get some feelers for what people thought of when hearing the name.

This s the constant response:

“Character's come from the author, and really needs to be the author's job to create them. As a wise woman once told me, writing is a solitary endeavour for a reason. The more people get their fingers into the pudding, the more it'll be messed up.”

I am not going to lie, sometimes I have problems with my characters. Most are based off a bunch of my friends and acquaintances, but mashed together. Putting out feelers helps me make sure my character is right for my book or for the name.

Yes, they are created by the author, but if your future readers cannot imagine them then there is no point of writing that person. Instead of saying make them whomever you want, one should ask what is already known to see if you can help.

I start with a basic character and develop them as they go. Characters are important to my novels, but I want them to grow with me as I write. My advice then is:

• start with a basic idea.
• look to your close friends for advice, traits, behaviours and looks.
• names can always wait unless the name is essential to the story.
• go with your gut.
• remember, how you envision them is not always how readers do.
• let your character grow and show you who they are.

Hope that helps with that. My advice is from my own experience and may not work for all.

 

2. Writers’ Block/Difficulty Writing

Every writer has this problem. If they  don’t they are lying. For once, I can say that I am happy how this thread turned out on the page. The original person said they were having a hard time writing because they edited as they wrote.

I always tell people that do that to stop. Write the entire story in one shot, take a break and then go through to edit it as many times as you want. You cannot edit it before you even know the entire story/plot.

One person’s responses that started an attack against them:

“I find it interesting that you say it went well, but only wrote two pages. I'm not sure what to tell you -- you either have the desire or you don't. Writing should be enjoyable. If it's not enjoyable for you, maybe you shouldn't do it.”

Some days I have issues writing two pages because writing seems so hard, other times I can write a lot. It happens. People have lives and cannot always write. Telling someone not to write is the worst thing to do to a person.

People say don’t push your writing, but at times you will need to do that in order to regain interest. How people gave advice made me smile. By far, this is the nicest response and one I can support because I agree 100% with it:

“But the good news is that in the case of writing, practice makes perfect. The more you do it, the better you get. And that's kind of a cliché line that people tend to throw out about a lot of hobbies and it isn't always true. But you definitely get better the more you do it. Again, I look back at the previous things I've done and I can note a clear line of improvement from work to work.”

Most of my work is crap, and I know that because I read it and laugh. I have gotten better, and that is from practice. To this person, it is their first novel. To those that loose interest or have issues, it is a learning curve. My advice when it comes to writing the first novel:

• write first, edit second.
• write as much as you can, when you can.
• if struggling wait it out. If it has been a long time (more than 3 days) sit down and try to write a paragraph or two.
• think about your novel whenever you can. This helps keep your interest.
• writing will be frustrating, sad, happy, pretty much any emotion you can think of, but that doesn’t mean to stop.
• lastly, NEVER stop writing. You will never know if you like it until you have finished a novel. If someone tells you to stop, laugh at them and keep writing.

Sorry about my rant again. I find it hard to check this forum site without finding some problems with people. Hope this helps others.

If any writer has advice, comment away so other writers can read about how you handle these situations and what other viewpoint can be offered.

Back to typing up ‘Control Me’. Over 45, 000 words and counting!

My Problem With Nanowrimo

Well, my problem with any type of thing that requires you to write a novel in a small amount of days. Don’t get me wrong, I did partake in this last year, but I wouldn’t call my finished product a novel.

Problem #1:

Setting a high word count number to reach expecting every person to reach it.

Sure, if you wasted every free waking moment to writing, or most of your free nights you could do this. There is the slight problem of going grocery shopping, spending time with family, eating, cooking food and any other things that need to get done. Even working is a challenge.

I worked 40 hours a week and spent the majority of my free time writing just to complete the challenge a few days early. It was tough to do on top of everything else.

Problem #2

Letting your brain process what to write.

Sure, you want to write the first thing you think of, but this could make the editing process much longer than it has to be. Your train of thought could work in your favour because it could flow, other times it could be terrible.

You may need  to take a couple hours to days off to let your mind breathe and process. Overworking your brain is what creates writers’ block and exhaustion.

Problem #3

People only write during Nanowrimo.

I understand you want to focus on revising and editing that novel, but you won’t get faster at writing a novel without more practice. Practice helps and only doing it once a year is not helpful.

I find that I write more during the spring/summer where the days are longer versus the winter time. A novel is not 50k, it is more, normally. To be honest, I spend a couple months after the last Nanowrimo to finish my book because of how much more I had to add to make it close, if not over 80k.

If people focused on writing half as much as they do during that month, they would be surprised at what type of work they could accomplish. People find that writing during Nanowrimo makes them an author, but I think authors write year round, not during a challenge-yourself month.

 

I am sure there are more problems, but this was all I could think of. I don’t know if I plan to participate this year because I will be just finishing a novel before it and want to type up another one.

If you are doing this, be realistic. Write for the sake of writing and not because you think Nanowrimo is what everyone is doing. It is not a fad.

Some writers do a great job doing it. I, on the other hand, like to not push myself too hard while working full-time. Hope this doesn’t offend any loyal Nanowrimo writers.

Pushing Limits

I have this weird conception where pushing limits is a great thing. Not in every day life, but in my books. I am not always a mystery writer…I dabble in other styles too.

My books contain violence. Some of it is overdone, others it is just right. What I mean by overdone  is 1440. That book is straight violence. It is hard to read because well, it’s gory. It was a riot to write because it was something so outside my normal way of life and thinking. An escape to a place so much worse than here.

Not saying all my novels are like that. Most do have a strong-willed, tough protagonist. No, that is not me. Strong-willed, maybe, but not tough, or as brave as most of my characters.

Pushing limits in novels is what makes them interesting. Most banned books push limits by containing information that some people find controversial. Not every novel can please every reader. The world would be so boring and generic if novels did do that.

All right, the main reason behind this post is about the next novel I plan to self-publish and the one I am hoping to finish writing soon. Both these books are a little different than I am used to writing, and tend to push a lot of limits; which I tend to do with my writing. I will start with Control Me. No, it is not sexual, start off with that. It’s a little out of my writing comfort zone. That’s right, I have one of those. This particular novel is about a girl born with a certain skills most humans do not have. She can control people with her mind, change their emotions and talk to their minds. She is wanted by all different governments/people wanting power to use as a weapon. She basically is forced to flee the country and hide with a highly trained guy. That is basically the gist of it. Lot’s of fighting, evil people and arguing. Yes, there is sex, but if there wasn’t I would be beaten my friend Shawna…with my own writing book. She is good at knocking that type of sense into me when it comes to my books. I cannot say any more because I am typing up the rough draft and will still need to edit it. As you can see, not exactly for everyone.

Now, The Selected. This one is about 14 year olds that get selected to pretty much become assassins/spies. They train to kill and will train to seduce. I am nearing the end of the novel, and there will be bloodshed and changing of the main characters mentality. I am waiting to hear uproars when I do self-publish it next year. No one is safe because in training people will die. Can’t really prevent people dying when they have to train with real weapons, or I am little sick.

Now that I have told you what my two current works are about you can understand why people may not like them. Some people should, but who knows. To end my blog, I will tell everyone something funny my co-worker told some of our new coworkers. He told people I am crazy because I write novels and like to murder lots of people in them. Outcome, most of them avoid me, but still piss me off. Now I wonder if I yelled if they would be terrified of me. Hmm…time to ponder scary writing mind.

Off to be productive, or think about being productive.

It’s My 100th Post!

That is right everyone! I have rambled for 99 posts already, and here is my 100th. Most people are exhausted about me talking about my writing, but this is why I created this blog. I don’t want to keep forcing my writing hobby upon others, so I let those that want to read about it the option to.

I love that picture. It is great and should help other writers…I hope.

What better way to celebrate my 100th post with the advice people have given me, without my wanting of it:

1. Get published. We need someone rich and talented in this family.

2. Why write? It’s boring and lonely.

3. If you don’t want to get published, what’s the point?

4. There must be something better to do with your time.

5. Your writing needs to improve greatly, but I don’t know why.

6. I’ve always wanted to write a novel, but I don’t want to be like you.

7. Go ahead and keep writing your novels. My one, great novel will get me somewhere some day.

8. Just shut up already.

That is all I can remember that isn’t too insulting. Writers get so much crap for what we do. I still have a job, so I am not one that parents tell their kids not to be. I am okay with people telling me to shut up. I understand. Growing up it was what I did and I never forced it upon people. With the technology out now my hobby is in everyone’s face.

I honestly suck with advice. I can encourage and explain things, but giving other writers advice I am terrible with. Who am I to offer that? My education never touched on Creative Writing. I wish it did.

For this blog post, I will keep it short and sweet. I want to know if you could offer any advice to a writer, what would it be? I  want only positivity people. Nothing negative.

My advice: Write what you want despite what other people think. Writing is for yourself. The readers will come later on.

Writing a Sequel/Trilogy/Series

Seeing as the last post about writers attacking writers, this was the main reason people got attacked. For a recap, here are two of the responses that people have given:

• “If you try to sell the first of a trilogy, and you are not an experienced writer, I can practically guarantee you will do a poorer job than if put as much work into a truly stand alone book. Why? Because for one thing, you'll be holding back for books two and three. Second, you'll leave dangling plots to bootstrap your second book -- bad idea.”
• “Forget sequels until you are published. Thinking of sequels will corrupt your writing, if you start leaving loose ends to carry into a sequel. Publishers balk at any mention of series or sequels by unpublished writers. They want to see writers with more than one idea, not ones trying to capitalize on the same characters and setting. And if you leave little coupling points in your story, they WILL notice. It makes your story look ragged.”

There were other responses, but these two were ones that got attacked for being rude. Now, my take on this.

You want to write more than one book that relates to a novel then go right ahead. What is the harm? Why should we as writers hinder other writers from doing this? Most of us cannot even begin to think of getting published yet because novels need to be written and edited first.

I, as a writer, have written a sequel to a novel and plan to write a 4-novel YA series. Is it set in stone? No, because I am trying to finish the first novel and get a feel for that. The first novel must be great because it has to set the scene for the rest of the novels, and it has to be good enough that if the rest of the series is not that great it can be a stand-alone novel.

Writing a novel is hard enough, why be assholes and bitches and try to stop people from writing? I want more people to write novels. It is a fantastic feelings and something to be proud about. I am proud of writing a novel. I am proud after every novel I have completed. So, in order to see what I could find about writing a second book or series I found a lot of mixed reviews. A lot of people say that this will not get you published.

Here is one comment that is confusing that I found:

• Now don't get me wrong. If your primary writing goal is to have fun: more power to you! Write a fifteen book interconnected series and don't let anyone tell you your front lawn swallowed a neighbourhood dog. If, however, your goal is to be published, writing a sequel to an unpublished, self-published, or under-published book is probably not your best strategy. Placing a book these days is really really hard. Placing a sequel to an un/self/under-published novel is virtually impossible, no matter how good it is.Unless, of course, the sequel can stand on its own. And I don't mean squint your eyes, fudge some plotlines, and nudge nudge sure thing it can stand alone. I mean it can completely and utterly stand alone and you can credibly pitch it as the first book in a possible series. In that case, well, just pitch it as the first book in a possible series and don't mention the one in the drawer.

Going back to my “publishable” rant. I hate writers that go: “I am writing a novel to get published and that be my job”.

Hold up, wait a second. First of all, writing should be something you want to do for yourself. You want to write a series and spend all this time in that world, it has to be more for you than for anyone else. You are going to build those attachments and have the same feelings as your characters. Second, it is so hard to get published nowadays you may end up self-publishing at first, or in general. Lastly, thinking that a series will be the only way to get you published you are wrong. Publishers do like a series, more money if it is good, but you must write it first.

I do have faith that people can do it, I just don’t appreciate when people think novel-writing is just a way to earn a living and then attack others. Write for yourself. If you have such a great idea that can lead to a sequel or more novels, go for it. Don’t get self-conscious when people tell you not to. And don’t think: “Wow! This will so get me published.” Instead think, “I have to write another novel because I love these characters and want them to go through this.”

Okay, okay. I am done ranting. To some this up: Write whatever you want as long as you put yourself as the main reason for writing. This is for your enjoyment and should be something you like to do. Writing is not easy, other writers can be down-right nasty and publishing is well, tough. Never give up hope that your novels are/will be great.

Writers Attacking Other Writers

First, let me be frank. I am a writer. Now, more honesty:

• Is my writing amazing?
• No.
• Perfect?
• No.
• Good?
• No.
• Does it make sense?
• Sometimes.
• Will I ever be good at writing?
• Probably Not.
• Do I think writing as much as I have gives me a reason to be judgemental?
• No, and even if I had only written one book I would still not be that way.
• Do I attack other writers about their writing?
• NEVER!
• Will I stop writing?
• Probably not. It’s been a part of my life for almost 12 years. Hard to say goodbye.

I have mentioned several times now that I get easily frustrated with writers attacking other writers. When I mean attack, I mean trying to get them to stop writing. Most of these people involve indie writers, or people just starting out writing a novel. And one person has written a novel or a few and goes all egotistical on the newbie's. No, I am serious, some of these people I see “offering help” think they have some big-ass ego. Don’t mind my swearing, I do it when I get angry, frustrated, annoyed and hormonal.
Now I shall search this forum site for the rude comments that make my blood boil and I turn into the Mr. Hyde form of me.
Examples:

• Someone asked if other people find when writing in first person if ‘I’ appearing often was a common thing.
• Egotistical response: “If your first person story has more I's than a colony of Beholders, it's a sure sign that your narrator is too self-absorbed.”
• My thinking: Um…wait a second here. I thought the who point of using first person was to see the world through the narrator’s point-of-view. Guess I screwed up that one. Of course, no need to use it every sentence, but still, it is going to appear often.
• “I just feel that this would be both fun and a helpful tool to have as another reference point, just like the world map. So, my question is: Does anybody else do the same?” (Create a world map to visualize a fantasy novel and a small background of the history of the places, like Game of Thrones of Lord of the Rings.)
• Egotistical response: “It's a great way to avoid ever starting on your actual writing.”
• My thinking: Well then, guess most fantasy writers that are famous are completely wrong and should never have been writers.
• “I don't even know where i should start to get the ball rolling on my plot. How do you guys do it?”
• Egotistical response: “I don't. I work out a plot, and then work on writing it in an engaging and interesting way.
  It's not the plot or the storyline, it's how you execute it.”
• My thinking: Not what the person asked. The person asked for tips on how to combine ideas into a plot, not getting told to write well.
• “I am wondering if there is an active verb that defines someone looking someone in the eyes? Or is there another word that has a similar effect for someone looking at some really seriously? Usually I would go look around for a word, but I am really busy with my novel (I need the word for a short story) and I can't find time between writing, social time with friends, and sports.”
• Egotistical response (one of the best to get my blood boiling): “I do express my opinion, a very similar one, in such cases. And I catch crap for it, because, in fact, people who ask these things are asking for others to think for them.Worse than that, they feel they are entitled to an answer.Maybe I will give an answer in some of these, especially a hunt for an elusive word, if I happen to have one that I feel works. To be honest, no such word leaped into my head. So I would instead settle for a phrase or a sentence.
  However, my primary point remains. Writers don't go running to others to solve these kinds of problems. They use the resources available to them, and they use their imagination to find some way to express themselves. Sometimes they fail, but they learn something in the process. Sometimes they succeed, and learning again ensues. It isn't the answer to the question that will make you a better writer. How you go about finding the answer makes you a better writer. And that truly is the point.”
• My thinking: Sometimes I cannot think of a word, and searching the thesaurus and dictionary do not help. I may think of a word that just doesn’t suit the characters. Getting outside help can provide more information about what other people think and use to describe something.
• A person asked if mixing writing styles into one novel would be a wise idea. The person discussed how they would go about it and explained their reasoning.
• Egotistical response: “Mixing writing styles will generally result in a very murky, disorganized-looking piece of writing. A master writer might succeed with it if there is a good reason behind it. However, if you have to ask, I would say it is probably doomed to failure.”
• My response: Well, crap. I guess all the genres created through mixing writing styles are a failure too.
• Someone asked for answers or ideas on why a spy would want to protect a person. They posted what they had so far and asked if it worked or if other people had other suggestions.
• Egotistical response: “Brainstorming? Exercise your own imagination, and trust in your ability to do so. Leaning on others to provide you with ideas will not help you grow as a writer. Quite the contrary, in fact.”
• Me: I knew it! I am a failed writer! Alas, the truth has been discovered when I ask for help with an idea. Finally, I can give up a hobby I love because I ask people for their opinion once in a while. (100% sarcasm)
• Sequels. People always ask about writing trilogies and sequels because they like an idea or set of characters.
• Egotistical response 1: “If you try to sell the first of a trilogy, and you are not an experienced writer, I can practically guarantee you will do a poorer job than if put as much work into a truly stand alone book. Why? Because for one thing, you'll be holding back for books two and three. Second, you'll leave dangling plots to bootstrap your second book -- bad idea.”
• Egotistical response 2: “Forget sequels until you are published. Thinking of sequels will corrupt your writing, if you start leaving loose ends to carry into a sequel. Publishers balk at any mention of series or sequels by unpublished writers. They want to see writers with more than one idea, not ones trying to capitalize on the same characters and setting. And if you leave little coupling points in your story, they WILL notice. It makes your story look ragged.”
• Me: Let the people write what they want! Who cares if you are jealous or hate trilogies and sequels. If people want to write them then stop discouraging them. Not once did people mention going to publishers. Guess I better toss out my sequels and the one I am working on. 

I am sorry about this long post, but I am frustrated! I cannot wrap my head around people saying some of this. The people responding call it constructive-criticism; I call it destructive-criticism. There is no need to attack people because they are trying to write a novel. We should be encouraging other writers, not hindering them. Writing is an art form and people have the freedom to express themselves. Those that want to destroy it should be silenced.
Reading some of the responses makes me wonder how much of a failure as a writer I would be to them. I encourage people, not criticize. I ask for help when I cannot decide between an idea or a few. I use ‘I’ often in my novels. Lastly, I am a writer and I write for myself. Not the need to get published and brag and hurt other aspiring writers. Here is what I find amusing, the people that do the critiquing have written 0-3 novels. I have written 17 books and my ego is nowhere near theirs.
For all those writers out there: Help people. Encourage people. Don’t let people make them not want to write. People should get to experience the array of emotions while writing and the pride of being able to do so. No one is perfect, or gifted, or amazing right away…or at all in my case. Please yourself first before others. Writing is a private manner in which you allow those close to you in first. Dream big and never be discouraged. Enjoy your talent. And never get a big ego and think you are better than everyone…unless you are famous like Stephen King, J.K Rowling, Nora Roberts of Iris Johansen.

Nothing and Need More Books to Read

Absolutely nothing has been written in a few weeks. Damn health…I have been reading more, but also sleeping more. The pills I am taking are such a low dose that sleep helps with the pain, and gives me nightmares.

I did have a really vivid dream that I could tie into my book later on it. Too early to have such a highly action packed part, despite what my friend thinks. This happens quite often to me. I get started with a book, then lose my feeling for it. Trust me, once I get the feeling back for it I will write a lot. I just need some extra motivation.

I hope with all the blogs I am reading, and my writing friends on Facebook that are doing so well with their books, I can become motivated again by them. Or hope my emotions get in check and let me.

Also, anyone have any good books they have read? I am doing the Bentz & Montoya series and  the Necroscope series. I am looking for more reads. My sick leave length is now unknown until I get a surgery date. Plus, I just love to read. I am trying to read slower because I tend to read a book in a sitting.

Back to reading…not writing. I suck at being a writer and being so distracted.

Don’t Know Where to go

Ugh! I hate being a writer…sometimes!

I’ve been so distracted by everything that seems cool and well, my health. So what has happened to my writing? Pushed aside!

Not good. My goal is to try and write more when I go on sick leave. Why? Because I have been slacking. I have no clue where I want to take my story or what to do with it. I have gotten over 80 pages in and now am kind-of stuck. It doesn’t help that when I am in pain I do not want to write. For some reason I feel like my  writing is worse when in pain…or just in general.

Hopefully I can write. Most people are having success.

On another note, I am doing a free ebook giveaway for my newest book. Giving out 5 copies. Only thing to keep me entertained right now it seems. Back to playing video games until I force myself to write something, anything. This is just sad. Amazing what an organ can do to you. Love writing, but unable to.

On another note, another great writer has died. I loved Fahrenheit 451. Fantastic read.

Here is the ebook giveaway link. Anyone can join. Just be nice to me if you give me a review. I’m not intending to be the next James Patterson.

https://www.facebook.com/events/407215529322487/

So Many Distractions

It happens, right? The hubby left Monday and I have written, oh, maybe 10 pages. Everything is so distracting! I have had two girl date nights, so that took up time.

And, well, Diablo 3 has become my new thing. For those that don’t know me, I am terrible with video games. I generally suck and get addicted to playing.

Well, it doesn’t help that I am still getting a feel for this story. It’s tough for me to write something so new. I have done a fair chunk of introducing and training to the characters. I am just not sure what to do after that. I am sure one day it will just appear to me and I will have no problem writing it. This problem is why I always have two book son the go, one I am experimenting with, the other I can easily rely on writing for a bit. It will be written; it will just take some time.

It’s summer too! I hide inside when it is hot and go outside when it is cooler and I can sit in shade so I won’t burn. I love writing in the summer, but it is tough. I am having a writing struggle. I actually have to struggle to write. Stupid tumour is on my mind no matter how much I try to push it out of my head. No worries, not cancer, just a giant pest. When I am in pain I don’t want to write and the pain has been around a lot lately. Maybe I will learn how to write while in pain…hmm…must think of how to do that.

On another health note, I have decided that if the Docs approve, I want to go on sick leave June 11th. I see the surgeon the 15th, so if I get an appointment booked I am fine. My not glamorous at all job is becoming a little too tough on me. Hoping for a surgery soon. I am tired of waiting, especially over 7 months. Alas, Ontario healthcare is terrible.

Soon I will show people what is wrong with me, but for now off to eat breakfast, have a cup of coffee and write for a bit. Write first, video games later….but before 2 because I work at 3. Well, I best get going, I am even procrastinating on this blog. Five pages is my goal. I think I can manage that.

Stuck in Writing Limbo

Writing ideas are appearing, but….well…they suck. Nothing can be flourished with them.

Instead, I’m writing one of my nameless books I started years ago. It’s a part of the series with the same characters from Unknown Caller. I’m already 70 pages in. Yeah!…I think.

I want to write new books, I really do. This book is just so comfortable. It is perfect for writing limbo.

Oh yes, Writing Limbo is a time between not wanting to edit a book I’ve just finished/recently self-published a book and starting a new book idea that I just cannot wait to write.

I really hope every writer has this time. Maybe they don’t call it my morbid name, although it suits it. Limbo is the place between phases/steps/anything you want to place in here.

I feel different during it. I feel, not myself. Normally I am proud to be a writer and writing a new story. Not right now. Well, okay, I am a little proud because I can list off what I have done. It’s more the lack of a story I want to really talk about.

All I can hope for is that during Writing Limbo this unnamed book will be complete. Hey, it’s a bonus. Make something out of limbo.

I am sorry if this is random. My mind is everywhere. So, with that, time to stare at my writing book and see if I can muster up some energy/ideas to write. Here’s to hoping.

Ten Pages Away From Finishing Typing and I Stop

What the hell, right? Well…never mind I have no explanation.

Sure, I can blame being in immense pain, but I have had time since my Mom typed up some of my book for me. Lack of motivation? Nope, because I write. Distracted with Game of Thrones and Mass Effect 3 watching? Nope, Game of Thrones is finished and I can multi-task with Mass Effect 3 on.

What’s wrong with me? Nothing, out of the ordinary anyway.

Fine, I will tell the reason. Once I finish typing that means I will have to edit. And, when I mean edit I mean add a lot, take out a little and leave it for a couple weeks. Then I edit and then my brother will edit and another book will be done. After that I will start writing more to finish another book and have to decide what book next to type up.

See? The never-ending process of being a writer on the side. It’s madness.

It’s not like back in high-school where I had a class dedicated to writing in Gr. 12. That’s right, I had an entire class dedicated to creative writing and I loved it. Now that I just work all the time I am old and have to be in the mood to write and end up treating it like a second job that maybe pays me $100 a year.

All right, all right. I know I said I do the writing for me, but seriously, why can’t I knit like my mom and make something useful? All I could ever knit was scarves. And I have lost all my wood-carving skills that my grandpa taught me. One day I hope that returns.

Gr, you found out I went off topic. But, yes, hopefully tomorrow I will complete my typing. There, be happy everyone. I can just sense my brother going “Hurry up already”, even though I don’t think he reads my blog. And well, the hubby has the best approach, “Do what you want to do.” With that, I shall think of a new book idea…maybe.

I can sense another one, so maybe I will do a bit of that story, read a little and maybe work on a story that has been kicking around for 3 years that I just need to keep writing. I’m already 60some pages in, so the continuing of that is easy.

Back to being productive I go. Here is the new book cover for Murder Never Dies. The hubby helped me fix it to make it look better. Sometimes I keep him around for help.

I Hate Endings

No, seriously, I do. This is no joke. Endings are just as painful as beginnings. You cannot just end up a book with “And they lived happily ever after”. Never going to happen.

Let me tell you, this book is being  pain-in-the-butt. I can see where it is going, but then it just stops when it comes to how to officially end the novel. Happy? Sad? Ambiguous?

Damn! All of them are good options that work with Control Me. I swear, I do this to myself every time. After 11 years one would think I would have learnt by now to not do this, but nope, I have not.

It’s just so hard! I am so close to the end and all I see is “blank”. If there were enough swear words to express this feeling properly, insert it now. For having  book outside of my norm it is doing well…in my eyes. I am biased because I like my books….at times.

The ending needs to live up to the hype of the book. No worries, the hype is for myself only, no pressure. It has to flow. I cannot just insert a happy ending if it feels like it is tainting the plot.

Alas, I may have to harass friends to answer the question:  “How should I end my novel?”

If anyone knows, let me know. If not, prepare for the contained anger of the book soon. I hope. The book may take more time than I want to finish, but that is another issue.

Been Busy, But I Managed to Type

Life is nuts and busy right now and what I am taking is making me strange. So things are not going as I would like. I have written very little, which is normal once I reach over 200 pages of a novel. I need a break from it, just like some people do from work or studying.

I am over 30 pages in my typing of Murder Never Dies. Love the title that my friend made for me. It is going well and I know for sure that I will need to edit like mad. There is more to add.

On top of this all I am busy with football. My Ravens are in the playoffs, big deal because I have fans of the Steelers and need to challenge them.

But, writing is not happening as much. I am a little furious and accepting of it. What writer has not felt this way?

Oh yes, New Years Resolution should go in here. Normally I have one of writing, like finishing writing and typing a book in one year. I know this is going to happen, so why waste a goal when it always happens? I could go for loosing weight, but that is not happening until my health gets figured out. This year, my goal is…wait for it…to be more positive!

Fantastic, right? I have been more positive since New Years and can see it in the customers I work with. It makes a difference. Now I can waste all my negative energy in book writing because I write better that way, and stay positive.

I promise to blog more once the writing mind gets the juices flowing. Stupid  writing lull.

Keep writing and reading. Never give up on being creative.

It's the Holidays...and I am Having Writer's Block

The blasted thing has plagued me again. Writer's Block. I am off for almost a week and like normal, planned to do some writing. Alas, that is not happening. I have written four paragraphs. Measly amounts for me.



It seems with my book I have hit a brick wall. Nothing is coming out. I was doing so well. Christmas is a time where I can relax and spend time writing.



Well, that's not happening. I am going to be busy the next few days. Not complaining, but I do need to write.



Some people do not understand that being a writer one needs to keep writing. A day or two off is no problem. I have been writing since I was 12 and now it is a problem whenever I do not keep writing at least a few nights/days a week.

So, I hope tonight can be a night where I write a little more before the holiday gets rather busy for me.

On a side note, I wanted to wish everyone Happy Holidays and I apologize about my lack of blogging. Stupid health issues tend to do that to me it seems.

Oh! Nearly forgot! I have sold 12 e-books. 11 for 1440 and 1 for Unknown Caller. I feel like I have accomplished something. Yeah, I know, that is not that many, but for me it is a big deal.  Maybe one day I will see that amount as minor, hence the word maybe. For now, I will think it is a big deal.

Completed Nanowrimo, Now Back to Normal Life

I am honestly considering never doing that again. That was way, way too much.

Back to normal life it is. I haven’t written or typed since Nanowrimo. I need a little mental break, plus health issues came up. For once in my life, something is actually wrong with me and I HATE it. Eek! Do not even get me started.

But, I still work and live life. Just cannot work out as well as I like. Got back to the gym and then Bam! no luck. I keep a goal of 3-4 times a week, but that can be altered due to what I have.

Yet, with the holiday season coming around my work quiets down a little bit, which means I will have more energy to write/type at night. Maybe over the winter season I can finish typing and writing two books.  How awesome would that be?

My goal is to continue self-publishing a book a year. Like normal. No way am I self-promoting to increase my sales. Too much work, plus, I do it just for my family and me.

Since Nanowrimo, I slack at motivation and keep procrastinating. Want to know why?

Skyrim happened. I have tried playing and well, suck at it, but the hubby keeps playing and it is quite amusing. Intelligent, long, fantastic game to watch. As well, reading has been happening as of late. Finished a novel by Kay Hooper and one by Michael Connelly.

I figure as the time goes I will get back in to my habit of writing. It is amazing to see how books have evolved since I was a teenager and often wonder why, at Brock U, they never offered a creative writing-novel course. They offered it for short stories and poetry. Hmmm….ponder.

See! Distractions are everywhere. Terrible. Today I set the goal to keep blogging and to argue with my mind to get back to typing and writing. No more slacking. Time to function…in a more pleasing way than studying and writing essays ever did.

The struggle of being a writer: trying not to distract oneself. Alas, that never quite works out well.

Back From Vacation

Florida was great. Long ride though, so still recovering from that.

Went to Harry Potter World in Universal Studios. Absolutely loved it. Yes, I support Harry Potter. In a recent study, it was researched and proven that that novel series increased literacy rates by 13% in Canada alone. That’s pretty impressive. So, did I get anything there? I got stuff for two other people, and in fact I did get something for myself. A really wicked writing book.

My first ever young adult novel was written in a Harry Potter journal; which was a long time ago. A decade ago.

We did go to Disney World. Had a great time. Enjoyed the changed firework show at Magic Kingdom. The before show was fantastic with a great message. It shows how one dream created something so spectacular.

I did get another writing book from Disney World. Sadly, not Eeyore but it is Pirates of the Caribbean. Could I find a picture of it anywhere? Nope.

Well, enough of my trip, now on to my writing. I wrote 4 pages. Crappy. But, to save my lack of writing I did think about where to take the novel. Do I still get some credit with that even though I did not produce much on paper?

Ugh, being a writer on vacation sucks. So much fun and distractions. I will write more being back home…

Maybe I should challenge myself to write a certain amount for NaNoWriMo? I have never done it before.

Alas, my writer mind is all confused. I will do my best, read a little more for inspiration and then get writing.

Going Away in Less Then a Week

Vacations, nothing better to help the writer’s mind. I find that going away brings me to new/old places, but allows me to see new people. It helps the imagination flow and makes me want to write.

Writers’ block is plaguing me again. Not a severe case, thank goodness, but still a mild case of it.

I am doing my normal prep of leaving. Trying to lose weight (not fully accomplished. I do love food), getting haircut after 8 months (check) and dying my hair (as I type). I am not a typical pretty girl. I rarely dye my hair and stick with the same hair group. Nothing outside of blonde.

The last thing I have to prep for is bringing an extra writing book. I am on the cusp of moving to another book and I cannot chance running out of pages and not finding a writing book while I am down there.

So how is the book? It’s moving along. It’s tough…as in writing. Extremely outside my genre and a brand new experience for me. I am living through the characters and I am praying that it will get me through the long drive down and back. Yes, we are driving from the Niagara Region in Ontario to Kissimmee, Florida.

Let’s hope something will spark my imagination and allow me to write a lot throughout that drive. It would be fantastic work and a great accomplishment, but would lead to one hell of a sore hand.

Well, I hope after being a typical girl and dying my hair I will feel inspired to write. It is well needed seeing as it has been over 3 nights since I had a good night of writing.

Alas, the problem with being a writer and having a full-time job, the lack of writing time and creation of more writers’ block.

Well, time to rinse the dye out and get my butt to writing.