I Hate Endings

No, seriously, I do. This is no joke. Endings are just as painful as beginnings. You cannot just end up a book with “And they lived happily ever after”. Never going to happen.

Let me tell you, this book is being  pain-in-the-butt. I can see where it is going, but then it just stops when it comes to how to officially end the novel. Happy? Sad? Ambiguous?

Damn! All of them are good options that work with Control Me. I swear, I do this to myself every time. After 11 years one would think I would have learnt by now to not do this, but nope, I have not.

It’s just so hard! I am so close to the end and all I see is “blank”. If there were enough swear words to express this feeling properly, insert it now. For having  book outside of my norm it is doing well…in my eyes. I am biased because I like my books….at times.

The ending needs to live up to the hype of the book. No worries, the hype is for myself only, no pressure. It has to flow. I cannot just insert a happy ending if it feels like it is tainting the plot.

Alas, I may have to harass friends to answer the question:  “How should I end my novel?”

If anyone knows, let me know. If not, prepare for the contained anger of the book soon. I hope. The book may take more time than I want to finish, but that is another issue.

Megan, where did the idea [insert something graphic, perverse, or both] come from?

Oh, how I have been asked this question many of times.

Recently, the hubby asked me one about 1440. My response: “I don’t know. I was 17. I just wanted something that would terrify and be graphic.”

To be honest, I have no idea where the ideas originate, but they are there, in my mind. Reassuring, isn’t it?

Not all my books are entirely graphic, perverse or both. A nice simple blend works. 1440 was an exception. It may or may not be the only one though.

Writing is my hobby, and if I don’t make it challenging or interesting, its going to be boring. So, yes, I do think of some horrific ideas. The new one is about the use of abilities to control people. What person does not fear being controlled? Yes, I plan to include bloodshed. It would not be a novel written by me, Megan Held, if I did not include bloodshed.

I was raised, and taught by some amazing teachers, to read books that have been banned or are controversial. I guess that helps influence my ideas.

Yes, I may be pulling at strings here, but honestly, I have no clue where the most twisted ideas come from.

Am I sadistic? Maybe.

Am I a psychopath? I don’t think so, I like to write about them.

Am I sociopath? No.

All right, so I have to look back. Hmmm….where did my ideas come from?

Every time I get asked this, I wish I had an answer. ‘I don’t know’ is no longer becoming suitable. Thank goodness I am not professionally published. My PR training would backfire.

My ideas are kind of mystical. I do not know when they occur, why, but I know what to do with them. Sure, some I even question my sanity (been to therapy, I am sane), but I know that if I feel every emotion writing the books it will work.

For those who ask, my ideas come from my mind, my imagination, and my dreams. One day I hope to have an actual answer.

If you object and know where these ideas come from, comment. I am intrigued. Back to writing….ahem…maybe…crap.