Why I Write

After looking through all my posts I have realized that I have not written why I write. I just say that I write and for most writing comes out of something. Sure, I have said I wanted to challenge myself to write when I was 12, but that is not all of it.

Writing has changed throughout my 10 years since I started. Let’s just say, moving in with my dad and step-mom was a challenge. More rules, more adjustment, new friends, and sister who wanted me to hate things that I did not know why I hated. So, when I felt moments of weakness, writing became my muse. I would write to hide and escape. It was tough being the daughter of a dad in the K-9 unit, and a step-mom who dabbled in everything in the police.

When I had to help my dad, by either taking his clothes that were dirty from a call (when I mean dirty, I mean mud, leaves, blood, vomit, you name it) to waking up in the middle of the night to help put the dog away. It was tough, but I accepted it. If I was upset, I would write. My husband knew that even when we met as kids. He knew I would write to escape and hide from the world.

As I moved on to highschool, I got ridiculed for being a cops daughter by some and it sucked. Let me tell you, it sucked. But there I met my support for my writing and changed from not just writing out of pain but out of happiness. It still was tough because at this time my brother and sister were born, so not only did I have to work, go to school, do homework, still do my chores, help with my siblings, dinner, but still help my dad out.

When my dad lost his K-9 job, my world changed. More stress and worry. My attitude changed, no longer was I close to my older sister. My roles as a daughter changed. I was always the one my dad would turn to talk to. Some of the stuff is even hard for me to remember because of how hard it would be to witness what he did. I wrote. Best way to get everything out. It was my pride and joy writing, and I could see the look of my parents and friends at my talent (or so called talent).

Once I went off to university, things changed. I got to experience living on my own. That’s when the husband came into the picture majorly. We became serious and got engaged. He made me happy and didn’t want me to write because he was worried I was upset. So, out of practice, I began to write when I was happy. Still, I wrote when I was upset because he is in the Canadian Army Reserves and is gone most summers and weekends so I need to pass the time. But he still supports me and encourages me to write. He knows I need it because he watched me go through everything.

Everyone I have met in my life that has made in impact do appear in my novels. Whether it be on phrase they use a lot, a characteristic or even look, people appear.

I hope this helps understand why I write and that it is not out of pleasure all the time, but out of need. It has become such a part of my life it is never going to go away, even if I don’t get published. I do not care if I get judged for my past, but this is what has made me the woman I am now, and the person my husband fell in love with. So, for all those writers out there, you are fooling yourself if you do not know why you write. Everyone has a beginning, its just knowing it that makes a difference.