Recently, Hedley’s new song featuring P. Reign called “Invincible” has hit home with me. It is hard to talk about, the only two main people that know about my past is my husband and my mom. My father knows some, but not all that much.
I was bullied and it is seen in my writing as my grandma points out.
Sure, I was bullied in high school like most people at one point. The bullying I experienced and still somewhat experience at the age of 23 is from my older sister. What people do not take into account is that bullying starts at home most of the time and it goes unnoticed. Most of the reasons I was bullied was because I was the scapegoat and still am with some things. Yet, I know how to counter them. I can rely on my mom to voice it and my hubby. They understand and watch me go through it.
How come it is in my writing? I went through therapy in high school where I was told the reason for my stress, suicidal thoughts (at that time) and anxiety was mainly because of my sister. Therapists solution: keep writing. Writing helps me escape and become the person I am.
Over time, the hubby helped me change my writing from being always a depression release to be a happy release.
So, I still write. I look at all that I did wrong growing up. I was not a perfect child, but the bullying I endured was not needed. From that experience I am what I am now. I am tough. I have people who love me. I have my writing and have done well. A degree. A graduate certificate.
If people read this and want to criticize and call it sisters, trust me, it was not that. I wish it were just that.
This is a pretty big post for me. It reveals a lot about my past that I do not like to share with others. Its tough. But, because of it, I have grown. In a sense, I feel invincible. I have hopes and dreams no one can crush.
Well, back to writing. Not to relieve sadness, but because I am happy.
Here is the song. Support the movement. Keep writing if it is what you want to do.
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